How to Communicate in the Family?

Be Careful of the 5 “I…s”

  • How great is your fall from heaven, O shining one, son of the morning! How are you cut down to the earth, low among the dead bodies! For you said in your heart, I will go up to heaven, I will make my seat higher than the stars of God; I will take my place on the mountain of the meeting-place of the gods, in the inmost parts of the north. I will go higher than the clouds; I will be like the Most HighIsa 14:12-14
  1. The point of the five I’s points to the danger of “Self Exhortation”, “Self Promotion” and “Pride”
  2. Lucifer wanted to be like the Most High and was giving himself up to feelings of self importance and finally communicated this to others Angels…
  3. Thus mankind in communicating to others often give themselves away by the way they communicate.
  4. The Devil may not have been saying these things verbally but God sees the heart and knows exactly what your heart is saying at each moment!

Empathy in Communication

  1. The communication process begins in your heart…It’s shaped by your mind before it is revealed
  2. Bad Communication happens in grunts groans, or as you talk to the person while looking at the wall…!
  3. One way communication, when you ask the question then give yourself the answer when talking to someone…
  4. Think before your communicate…
  • Proverbs 17:28, Even the foolish man, when he keeps quiet, is taken to be wise: when 
    his lips are shut he is credited with good sense.

When Listening to Someone:

Smile and look the other person in the eye naturally (it’s not a stare down).

Ask questions to show you are interested and to clarify things you aren’t sure of.

Look for common ground.

Try to block out distractions.

Don’t focus on rehearsing what you will say next.

If the person expresses strong feelings, try to acknowledge them without becoming offended or angry yourself.

  1. Content: (words, facts, fiction,)
  2. Tone: (change of the tone, affects the message to the hearer,) example, ‘read your bible’
  3. Nonverbal: (facial expressions, body posture, actions)

  1. Cliche: Happy Sabbath, Did you Have a Good Week? (Not really wanting a long discussion with you but short,) This type of talk is VERY SAFE!
  2. Reporting the Facts About Others: We report the facts like the six o’clock news! We are not involved, we share the gossip, the hot news, the incident. In a way we are aloof from the report!
  3. My Ideas and Judgements: Real Communication takes place here. The person steps outside of personal confinement, willing to share some of herself/himself. Still cautious but is in a sense testing the waters of discussion and reception
  4. My Feelings and Emotions: The person shares more of his or herself, feelings and emotions are very personal. (Apostles at Pentecost shared their feeling and emotions, there weaknesses)
  5. Complete Emotional and Personal Communication: A deep relationship must be based on absolute openness, and honesty. At this stage risk of rejection is involved. But only when sharing at this level is growth achieved.

Bible Summary:

  • “Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight.” (Prov 18:17) Living Bible
  • When the man of pride undergoes punishment, the simple man gets wisdom; and by watching the wise he gets knowledge. (Prov 21:11) NIV
  • “He who answers a matter before he hears the facts, it is folly and shame to him.” (Prov 18:13) Living Bible


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